Until you have become a single mother you may never know the battles that I go through. I weep that my poor children were forced into a life like this. That I had to be so selfish and give them this life! My children deserve so much more than what I can give them. If it wasn't for my strong mouth I would be married by now. Why don't I just give in and suffer with what is not the best for me but great for my girls. Don't they deserve a daddy that is good to them even if I don't feel completed? I struggle with knowing what I should do. I do not know yet how to set aside my own misery for the better of my children. A husband could mean we would not struggle so much with bills. We would have a family vacation. For once they would here the famous phrase "go ask your dad." My children have been robbed of a dad, a great life. Now I have to struggle to make up for it.
I was glad to run into a church friend today who told me that they don't miss not having a dad that I do so much for them and love them enough. I just wish I could feel that way on the inside. I wish I had a man that I could make joint decisions with rather than just what I want to do. My way might not always be the best.
Heidi, Believe me when I say you don't need a man to make you complete! You only WANT a man! There is nothing wrong with wanting a man. Your girls would not want you to settle for anything less than what is best for you. Making joint decisions are not fun! There's the arguing and the madness that goes with it. Yes there is the making up but it isn't worth it! Just enjoy your children and give them the love and attention that you can, they will love and respect you for it!
ReplyDeleteYOU DON'T NEED A MAN!!!you want one!
Heidi,
ReplyDeleteYou are doing the best thing for your girls by not settling for something less than your dream. An unhappy marriage is not what you need or want.Your girls will remember how strong you are to do it all on your own. You are a great role model for them...always remember that. Never settle for less than your dreams.